Labels

Let me say it up front.

I hate others putting labels on myself. 

I'm much more than the labels people put on me. 

You know when this thought emerged? 

Last week, someone I barely know approached me to ask me some tips.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind and like helping others but if you're only gonna talk to me just because I got an award, I rather you not asking me anything. 

Because I know for sure you wouldn't even look at me if I didn't receive that award. 

I do not like the label they put on me.  I'm beyond blessed and grateful for whatever I achieved but I feel it somehow comes with a price somehow.

Classmates who never cared about me before start asking me things, people lift me higher when I'm actually just a normal person like the rest of them. I'm nothing special, I feel I just got lucky. They have labelled me as the super smart person who they should only ask things from. 

I'm tired of them putting it on me and when I suddenly don't do well, I'm suddenly nothing to them. It's like my worth to them is only determined by a mere alphabet on a piece of paper rather than how I treat them, which is something they should care more about instead.

It happened before, I used to get good grades when I was 13-15. When my grades dropped when I was 16, suddenly no one cared about me anymore. It made me upset and I don't want to go through that again. I'm not defining others or being friends with others just because of grades in their exams.

Instead, Look at me because of who I am, Talk to me because of how I behave with you not because I might seem advantageous to you. 

Get to know me better, be friends with me, I'm definitely more than what you see. 

I have a colorful personality, I'm angry about certain issues, I like cute things.

I am the only one who is responsible for putting labels on myself. 

P/S: This is just an angry rant, hope it doesn't come out as me being ungrateful or anything xoxo

No matter what you do, No one is ever happy

One of the most important lessons that I've learnt in life is not to worry about what others think.

I learnt the choices and decisions I make, the path I take lies in my hand.

No one would ever be satisfied with what you do.

You do A, they would ask why didn't you do B instead?

But when you do B, others would ask why didn't you do C?

No one would ever be happy.

So what do you do faced with this confusing perspectives and paths to go for?

My answer as I write this is do YOU.

Yes you may ask for advice. You can collect as much information as you can. You can continue to seek for answers but at the end it's up to you to call the shots for yourself.

Because you know yourself much better.

It's scary but it would make you feel like you steer the course of your life, in a sense it would give you empowerment to yourself. 

If there is one thing to remind myself as I navigate through the slopes and windy roads of life, is to make bold choices and to find your own course even if it would be different than others.