Sometimes you need to jump into the unknown to enjoy life

One of the things that I'm most grateful for in life was to go on an exchange program.

No it was not a vacation,it was a life-changing experience.

No I'm not going to talk about the cliche' or normal things you would expect when you go on an exchange. This would be my version on how such a program has impacted me and has given me opportunities in many ways.

First and foremost it was the first activity I joined that did not require you to be the outstanding and extroverted person who would most likely be hired in this competitive world that we live in. It required you to be only yourself and let your personality shine through. For that I felt grateful because I do remember feeling intimidated by all the better students. I still remember thinking I would never get the chance to go on an exchange that was fully funded because I was assuming that they only wanted the best of the best. But I was wrong and I was happy they let you be you instead of faking to be someone else.

Other than that, I was able to gain certain life skills which I would have not got if I didn't go on the exchange. I learned to manage my finances,call or email someone if I had a problem, leave in a completely different culture and make new friends out of the blue. I made a friend who was a true friend to me and who I had a lot of fun with in doing things like stargazing and riding in a trolley in the middle of an empty parking lot. I was able to go to places that I could only dream about like Universal Studios and the Grand Canyon. And most importantly, I became more patriotic of my country and was proud of the little things that our country had like the food and night markets which where it was foreign in the place I went. I learnt that every country has its strengths and its problems as once an aunty told me,'the grass is sometimes not greener on the other side'.

The land of the free taught me more about freedom of speech,how women can be bus drivers and in sociology class about the gender pay gap, sexuality and gender and the Westboro Baptist Church. I discovered the beauty of dance and had an amazing teacher who kept encouraging me although I was really bad at it. I fell in love with dance but I did not continue it,maybe in the future I'll pursue it again. I had an interesting English Literature teacher who dressed up as a knight in one class.

The best part is the journey still continue even after your program has ended. I got to meet amazing people who have become my close friends,friends who have restored my faith in the goodness of people and other amazing personalities. I got chances to work as a committee in a project and even facilitate a session. I swear I would not have gotten the opportunity if I hadn't gone on the program because it's hard to get opportunities in other places because they are more talented people or there is  no one to encourage you to enter projects or attend events.

I got to attend activities and go for workshops which taught me more about culture,how to suspend judgement and not to be stereotypical.

Looking back at all this I'm extremely blessed that I have had the chance to do all this. Although I may not have had any other chances, I'm thankful for this life-changing experience. People say going on an exchange is a waste of money,I beg to differ. It's an investment that brings you further in your life-journey.

Black Beauty

I have always been dark-skinned all my life. I have not been severely bullied but I've had some experience with it.

Somehow growing up in Asia,being dark is completely undesirable. It's as though you've been cursed with it when all it is a different shade of skin tone. I still don't understand why people would make fun of it or even discriminate you for it. What is so bad about being dark-skinned? Why does society look at it as if we're unlucky to have a different colour in the skin tone range. Writing this post evenI don't seem to understand why being dark-skinned is such a bad thing after all. Maybe it's because the culture of colourism has taken place where it is defined by Wikipedia as a form of prejudice or discrimination in which people are treated differently based on the social meanings attached to skin colour. 

I was fortunate that I grew up in a family where being dark skin wasn't really a problem. No one made fun of it and for that I'm extremely grateful. For some, they might not have been very lucky growing up with a family who constantly comments on your skin tone and make you use all kinds of products to make you look fairer. As though they're helping you cure a so-called disease to them. I do recall my grandmother giving me turmeric paste to wash my face with but thankfully she didn't prolong the habit. If she was trying to make me fairer, boy she was wrong.

As usual the market takes advantages of humans insecurities and you'll be amazed to see all kinds of whitening products out there. A lot of adverts are out there showing how by using creams like Fair and Lovely,you would have that fair skin that is so desired by all. It's baffling how these racists ads are still out there and how some people are still influenced. We can't fully blame them as well, society has made them think that fair=beautiful.

The cosmetics market in Malaysia do not consider people with darker skin tones as their valued customers. I don't mind using drugstore makeup such as foundation for my skin but I can never find my shade in a drugstore place. So I end up having to splurge at an high-end makeup store to get my shade. It might be of a better quality but I don't need an expensive foundation if I'm not going to use it frequently. It's definitely unfair that some girls can look great with makeup from drugstores while us the dark-skinned chicks have to find foundation elsewhere just because our skin tone doesn't fit into the range. Being an Indian I thought maybe I could get the foundation that matches my skin properly when I went to an Indian shop. However I couldn't because somehow some Indians prefer to be fairer than they usually are so of course all the foundations sold are definitely for lighter skin tones. Thankfully certain brands like Fenty Beauty by Rihanna and Huda Beauty realize that a wider range of skin tone foundations is needed and everyone is happy because they can finally use a foundation that matches their skin tone perfectly. Sometimes I even have a problem of finding an eyeshadow palette that would match my skin tone because some of them can't be seen on my skin.

From personal experience, a friend once told me that if only I was fairer,I would have been prettier. Of course at that time I wished I was indeed fairer but looking back I was grateful that I slowly began to accept,embrace and be proud of my dark skin. Some of my friends have occasionally joked about my skin tone and I know they wouldn't want to hurt me so I took it as a joke but now when I look back I shouldn't have, after all there's nothing to mock or joke about having dark skin. I have been referred to as black a few times but that won't put me down. Even once I still remember when I was 10 or 11, one of my classmate's mom was surprised I could achieve better results than her daughter in our exams because I was dark-skinned. Like my brains as anything to do with my skin tone. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but my mom did and she was right to do so. I even got told not to wear dark colours because then I wouldn't look obvious. There was another incident when I was young when my friend told me she initially didn't want to be friends with me because I was dark. There was once a girl who didn't want to touch me although we were in the same class because I was to her 'black'.

I've seen other friends of mine being teased for being dark-skinned. They would call them black and would crack the I can't see you in the dark jokes. I've heard once someone talking with the person next to them at a wedding and they were wondering how is the bride's sister going to get married  just because she's dark. Well good news she did end up getting married to someone she loved. I know a lot of people don't like being under the sun because they're scared they would get darker or in their own words 'black'. It's surprising how getting skin cancer is not as important as getting dark. To my horror,I've seen makeup artists trying to make brides fairer with foundations that do not match their skin tone at all resulting in the bride looking like a ghost on stage.Sometimes even if they have blended a lighter tone foundation on the bride,it's obvious that it's definitely not the bride's original skin tone when you compare them with the bride's arms.

I know some boys would prefer a girl with fairer skin to be their girlfriends which would result in seeking girls from other races not because of genuine love but because they feel dark skin girls are ugly although they're dark skin themselves. There are people who find dark skinned people not worthy of being in a relationship with them or not desirable at all to them although that person might have a good heart. Of course thankfully not everyone is like that but there are a group of people who are. But the sad part is I know a lot of girls who would turn down a boy with a good heart just because he's dark when that shouldn't be the case. The most ridiculous thing is when they have marriage ads where just because a guy has a higher education and a high-paying job, they are entitled to a fair and beautiful wife. 

Thankfully there have been campaigns about embracing the dark skin tones and there are models who  are inspiring movements to be proud of their dark skin tones. A girl on Instagram even started  a campaign called #todarkforwho which has helped a lot of a dark skinned women who have been having problems or insecurities about their dark skin tone.

I will certainly not be apologetic for it and  I would not feel sorry for not having that desired shade.Instead I would be proud to embrace who I am. Colour doesn't matter. We're all different flavours in the human race. Let's be proud of whatever skin tone we have because that's what makes us beautiful,unique and who we are. Everyone is beautiful just the way they are and nothing should be done to change any of that. 

Most importantly,be you!