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Maybe I just want things to be easy.
Maybe I'm just a spoilt person who does not know how to go through hardships.
Maybe I'm used to having everything given to me.
Maybe I'm just lazy
Or Maybe I just follow my emotions too much.

Although I have not entered the real world, I have started to feel the pinch of it slowly. About how you need to be more responsible in a lot of aspects and how to manage your time. It may be valuable skills to learn but there is another thing that hits you really hard when you grow up. Sometimes I feel it's a slap in the face.


I often hear of the phrase of  how the world is unfair and all you need to do is to deal with it. Sometimes you're out on your own and it's really up to you whether you choose to take chances or make mistakes.

Which makes me worried being an extremely dependent person when it comes to making decisions. I'm so afraid of not making the right choices and messing up so I rely on others to decide me. But then when I come to this age, I need to start deciding for myself which makes it more scarier. You need to start accepting shit apparently.

One of the things that have been stressing me out is how when I'm done with my degree, I would have to fight to get a job,something which I don't personally agree with it and something I'm not used to. I remember someone told me how we the middle class people don't know how to fight since all our lives things have been givien to us and when there is an opportunity we dunno how to grab it. In other words, we wouldn't know how to survive in the real world. This statement hit me really hard because this made me realise how both I'm priviliged and how screwed up I am.

It's funny how no one taught us to survive. All what we learnt in school was purely bookish knowledge. My parents always wanted me to study rather than learn how to face the real world. Probably they were trying to protect me from the real world.

Sometimes I wonder how my parents survived the real world. They never talked tales of it,probably they somehow learn to live with it. But they were lucky they didn't have to fight as hard as us to get a job. All they had to do was to get a degree and a job would be there to us.

Remember I told you I personally didn't agree with the competition. Why do I agree it would increase the efficiency of a person(it makes us sound like we're machines) it also kills spirit. It kills talents that we need because of the amount of competition. Perhaps we're just weak enough to face the competition so we blame it on the competition rather than fighting. Or this practice is completely unfair because instead of making more people successful together to create a better human race,we're crushing it. We might be crushing potential talents just because they didn't get the chance or the encouragement as the others. We're crushing the potential change makers,we're not allowing people to all succeed together to create a wave of change.

We go to university not to learn something rather than to prepare ourselves for the future. If you really do go to university do something you really like the next question comes in from your parents,

What can you do with that degree?

This happened to me. I blame myself because I didn't do enough research to convince my parents that all I wanted to do was Gender Studies. They were like what job you can get? If I did enough research of course I could have found something.

But again I'm happy I'm not in the real world yet. Although we make mistakes,the worst that would happen  is probably we'll get yelled at or fail an exam. But in the real world, if made mistakes lot of things can happen.

People have different times to fly with their wings

Sometimes I don't understand why I'm so hard on myself. Why do I keep comparing other people's achievements with mine? Why do I let others define what I've accomplished? I need to set goals as a reminder to myself to not let others bring you down.

Goal no 1: Do not be jealous of other's achievements,be proud of them,celebrate with them,they might have taken the hard road to get there.

Goal no 2 - Other people's strengths or talents do not make you a lesser person,some people have different weapons and shields, everyone is a different superhero.

Goal no 3-Just because you didn't achieve it doesn't mean you're worth nothing,your time will come when you finally fly.

Goal no 4- Be proud of every step you take,move forward and  do not retreat, the journey matters,not the destination.

Goal no 5- Let criticisms be a teacher, learn from it and do not make the same mistakes. Do not get mad by them, they're only trying to help you become the best of yourself.

Goal no 6- Do not let anyone devalue yourself,remember we all start at different points,we all have different struggles,we all have different strengths,we all move on a personalized and unique path,our experiences are totally different.

However my biggest dream is to live in a world where don't constantly compare ourselves each other, instead we motivate each other,celebrate each other and move together to form a better world.If that ideal world exists,we would be producing more superheroes and not villains.